I am fortunate to have had the opportunity to take part in an interesting healing group that ran for 12 weeks. One of the things we would do was to speak about the old thoughts/hurts we were carrying around, often for most of our lives, and often those which had never been shared before – because of shame, guilt, fear, etc. It takes a tremendous amount of trust to share deep places like this and it feels very scary to do so, leaving the sharer feeling “naked” and vulnerable. This is where Love comes into the wonderful healing process that is used in this program.
When something is shared, the other group members do something that re-builds and “re-clothes” that person who is risking safety in sharing, in NOT staying silent any longer. Each person consciously gives feedback – offering words that acknowledge that person’s pain, courage, strength, etc. and expressing their own feeling(s) about the situation (ie: I feel angry that you were treated that way. You did not deserve that.). It is in this reflection that the sharer finds a place in the group, empathy for a painful experience, and a sense of trust that it IS okay to share and take a step forward.
I mention this because there are many times when our friends share things with us. Sometimes, we don’t know what to say but want to say something – the “right” thing. That can sometimes lead to silence. Silence in a tender sharing moment can leave the sharer feeling regretful about sharing because it is a vulnerable moment. The silence can feel like they are being judged or not understood (and therefore hurt) again. You can help make the experience a healing and Loving one by giving conscious feedback. It’s best not to tie it into an experience you had right away though. Let the person sharing finish what they need to share and then move forward. This is a wonderful healing, Loving, growing place to share, whenever needed.
Your comments and/or questions are welcome. Feel free to add your thoughts in the comment box below.