We all have different styles of communicating and this is tinted by our particular walls and wounds, in general, and, if applicable, specifically with that person. We also all live by different values and principles.  The only way to make anything better is to speak your Truth.

I had an incident this week that was rather enlightening which will help to illustrate my point.  Because this friend of mine communicates differently than I, I misinterpreted (for a long time) what his silence meant.  For me, my learned pattern was that silence was not a great thing – it usually implied anger and rejection.  Using this old template, I interpreted my friend’s silence in the same way, and my interpretation manifested as a sadness in my heart that I carried around with me.  Sadness came from caring about/for this person and feeling the ditch of misunderstanding between us.  How interesting when a door opens a little!  The wonderful thing about communication is that it leads to understanding of not only the other person, but of ourselves and where we jump when there is something we don’t fully understand.

I could never quite totally “get” the “theory” that people would share with me about feelings being a choice one makes, but they are if there is a willingness to see what filters are bending an event.  For me, they were old filters.  Seeing this clearly allowed me to release it.

When we communicate with each other, we come to see that we are mirrors for each other.  What are we creating within ourselves and with those we care about?  Here is a neat video that touches on some of these issues and goes a little further.  I’m sorry that it ends a little abruptly but you can access the next one on Youtube; watch for the link.  (cont’d…below)

I am doing a lot of releasing work right now. I am grateful for all the insights this is bringing me and I will be posting further on this.

Thank you for reading along and, as always, I wish you a bright and beautiful day!

Love,
Nancy

Thank you to all those who let their Light shine!

When something is shared, the other group members do something that re-builds and “re-clothes” that person who is risking safety in sharing, in NOT staying silent any longer.   Each person consciously gives feedback – offering words that acknowledge that person’s pain, courage, strength, etc. and expressing their own feeling(s) about the situation (ie:  I feel angry that you were treated that way.  You did not deserve that.).  It is in this reflection that the sharer finds a place in the group, empathy for a painful experience, and a sense of trust that it IS okay to share and take a step forward.

I mention this because there are many times when our friends share things with us.  Sometimes, we don’t know what to say but want to say something – the “right” thing.  That can sometimes lead to silence.  Silence in a tender sharing moment can leave the sharer feeling regretful about sharing because it is a vulnerable moment.  The silence can feel like they are being judged or not understood (and therefore hurt) again.  You can help make the experience a healing and Loving one by giving conscious feedback.  It’s best not to tie it into an experience you had right away though.  Let the person sharing finish what they need to share and then move forward.  This is a wonderful healing, Loving, growing place to share, whenever needed.

Your comments and/or questions are welcome.  Feel free to add your thoughts in the comment box below.

Shine Brightly!!

Nancy