Dr. Hegstrom believes more than 90% of marriage relationship problems
are linked and/or caused by childhood wounds.

Maybe you’ve already considered that our brains are like computers…only there isn’t a computer in the world that can do all the amazing things are brains can do!!  Hegstrom tells us that our thalamus is like the software that runs our computer … recording everything.  When we have a traumatic experience, the amygdala (often called the reptile brain) kicks in and we are guided to either flee, fight, or freeze.   Many things can kick the amygdala into gear and he speaks of the major players, especially when we are children, as:

• rejection
• incest
• molestation
• emotional abuse
• physical abuse

This will often create “an internal perception of powerlessness” with many more symptoms being piled on as time progresses and the issues are not dealt with properly.  I will speak further on this topic in the future but just want to add that once we are adults it is up to us to seek out answers to our feelings/behaviours so that we can heal and live a richer, fuller life.  When life is going really well, these issues are often submerged, but sometimes, certain experiences will bring up much of the burried pain.   It may seem that this pain is insurmountable, but that is not the case at all.  Once a commitment is made to deal with and heal past wounds, true freedom – spiritual freedom – is waiting to be had.

Again, if you are looking to understand a deep wound in your life, check out his material.  There are some Christian-religion references, so that may or may not suit you, but the material is the best I’ve seen to describe what trauma does, and I encourage you to check it out either way.  See below for a short clip where Hegstrom explains his system.

All my best to you!
Nancy