For close to 3 years, I volunteered in Palliative Care at my (then) local hospital. We were instructed to serve the patients – help them with what they might need/want. The medical staff took care of any medical issues, of course, like moving someone or adjusting a medical device; the volunteers brought drinks, read books aloud, or helped with a task the patient might not be able to complete on his/her own. Most of the people were conscious when I was there and, sometimes, family members were also present.

Sometimes I would give them a foot massage or quietly sing songs that might comfort them or bring back a fond memory. This is such a special space to share with someone because there was always a sense that that person could leave life at any moment. It was incredibly expanding and a deep, deep privilege to help in this way. All expectations dropped – the room was filled with Love and compassion – compassion for that person’s journey toward the final leg of life as we know it and the dissolve of all their life experiences into the big mystery…. what must they be thinking or feeling as they made peace with this “ending” inside themselves?

I wish we all could tap into that place with each other – a place of reverence. If we could, perhaps we would see each other with a deeper sense of appreciation for the life that flows through all of us – and how precious and fragile it is.

Enjoy the video…

 
Namaste,
Nancy

Several years back, a friend of mine was married to the love of her life.  They were married for over two decades and finished each other’s sentences.  For a while, he worked in a mine – and his time there would be the source of a lethal illness that developed not long after.

When he was diagnosed with cancer, she was there for him.  Night by night, she stayed by his side, never leaving – but it began to take a toll on her.  She told the on-duty nurse that she would take the bed they had offered in the other wing but didn’t leave until they assured her that they would call her if there was any change in his condition.  She laid her head down on the pillow and fell into a deep sleep.  Around 4 a.m., she awoke with a bad feeling and hurried back to her husband’s ward only to find that he had passed while she was sleeping.  I cannot tell you all the pain she went through from not being there with him.

The thing about this heart-wrenching circumstance is that it happens often – the part where the loved one passes when they are alone.  Sometimes, people just cannot pass if their loved ones ARE present.  They may not be able to handle the grief their family/friends feel, the tension of letting go, or their own struggle with having to say goodbye – from this world, from the people they love dearly.

It’s hard enough to see a loved one pass but to endure even more pain because you feel that you did something wrong (abandoned them) is further damage to an already-hurting heart.  It’s easy to think – bad time to leave – should have slept in the chair again that night – should have booked an earlier flight out… but please stop to consider that the person passing may need to pass alone, it’s not personal and no one did anything wrong – they just need to go that way.

I hope that, if you or someone you care about, ever has this experience, you will find comfort in a different way of looking at these things.

Love,
Nancy

I’ve been through a lot of tests/lessons in my life, some of which I  wondered how (and even if) I would make it through them.  Undoubtedly, you have too.  Loss of the people we love can trigger old grief, unhealed, dangling events from childhood that call for attention.  There are so many layers in life that emerge as we grow.  I think they only come when they come because that is when we can deal with them.  If we don’t address them then, they will emerge again, until that layer is resolved.  The best we can do is feel them, understand them, let them speak to us and give to ourselves the very thing that was probably wasn’t present when they occurred:  compassion and Love.  Excellent investment = a journal. Write, write, write – even if it’s a sentence or two each day!

In the meantime, it’s easy to get off track with exercisingbecause the mind/emotions are so engaged, but it’s important to feel strong and flexible.  I did an amazing dvd yesterday and wanted to recommend it to you because it is so free-ing to do it!  Click on the link to find some info. on it…  Shiva Rae – Yoga Trance Dance.  Good stuff if you like to dance and like yoga, but you’re not at the hard-core toes in your ears level yet! : ))  I also find that investing a bit of time to move my body helps me to make better, healthier choices later on.  In what ways do you support your body, your temple? 

Love, 

Nancy  : )

We all have different styles of communicating and this is tinted by our particular walls and wounds, in general, and, if applicable, specifically with that person. We also all live by different values and principles.  The only way to make anything better is to speak your Truth.

I had an incident this week that was rather enlightening which will help to illustrate my point.  Because this friend of mine communicates differently than I, I misinterpreted (for a long time) what his silence meant.  For me, my learned pattern was that silence was not a great thing – it usually implied anger and rejection.  Using this old template, I interpreted my friend’s silence in the same way, and my interpretation manifested as a sadness in my heart that I carried around with me.  Sadness came from caring about/for this person and feeling the ditch of misunderstanding between us.  How interesting when a door opens a little!  The wonderful thing about communication is that it leads to understanding of not only the other person, but of ourselves and where we jump when there is something we don’t fully understand.

I could never quite totally “get” the “theory” that people would share with me about feelings being a choice one makes, but they are if there is a willingness to see what filters are bending an event.  For me, they were old filters.  Seeing this clearly allowed me to release it.

When we communicate with each other, we come to see that we are mirrors for each other.  What are we creating within ourselves and with those we care about?  Here is a neat video that touches on some of these issues and goes a little further.  I’m sorry that it ends a little abruptly but you can access the next one on Youtube; watch for the link.  (cont’d…below)

I am doing a lot of releasing work right now. I am grateful for all the insights this is bringing me and I will be posting further on this.

Thank you for reading along and, as always, I wish you a bright and beautiful day!

Love,
Nancy

Thank you to all those who let their Light shine!

I subscribe to Neale Donald Walsch’s daily notes.  I love them because, often, they are succinct and spot on with something I am feeling or thinking about.   Here is a note I received recently….

On this day of your life, Nancy, I believe God wants you to know…

…that you are loved on this day for all the wonder that you bring to your world with the gift of being you.

Hard to believe, isn’t it, that you are that special in the eyes of God? Yet you are–and not because of what you have done, but because of who you are. You are God’s own creation, an expression of Divinity in human form.  The fastest way to experience this is to be the vehicle through which others sees it in themselves. Each person is walking his or her path and doing his or her best. God knows this and that is why God loves you all.

Sometimes, we need little nudges to remind us that we are Loving, spiritual Beings and not just physical bodies climbing up Maslow’s pyramid.  We need to remember that the mere chance of our existence is so miniscule as to be the near equivalent of a microscopic dust particle in the entirety of Universes we are, at present, aware of… and there will be many more unveiled in years to come, I am sure.  Just to be conceived is a sheer miracle.  When we pass, our Spirit leaves the body and travels on somewhere else.  Who were we while we were here?  What did we stand for?  What moved our hearts that we made better?  Who did we Love?  What was beautiful to us?

Think about that.  No matter what people may have said about you, in their non-understanding, it is imperative to hold your True, Spiritual self at the core of your heart.   Leave the tags and labels behind – they are meant to discourage and sink you – hold God’s mirror to your heart and go experience why you are here.  It may be to touch one life, millions of lives or to evolutionize your own.

And, for the record, please know that when I speak of God, I know there are many, many names used through all the belief systems – please fill in the blank with what you choose, if any!

If you are interested in daily spiritual nuggets, you can check out Neale’s site:  http://www.nealedonaldwalsch.com/index.php?p=Signup

Love,

Nancy

When something is shared, the other group members do something that re-builds and “re-clothes” that person who is risking safety in sharing, in NOT staying silent any longer.   Each person consciously gives feedback – offering words that acknowledge that person’s pain, courage, strength, etc. and expressing their own feeling(s) about the situation (ie:  I feel angry that you were treated that way.  You did not deserve that.).  It is in this reflection that the sharer finds a place in the group, empathy for a painful experience, and a sense of trust that it IS okay to share and take a step forward.

I mention this because there are many times when our friends share things with us.  Sometimes, we don’t know what to say but want to say something – the “right” thing.  That can sometimes lead to silence.  Silence in a tender sharing moment can leave the sharer feeling regretful about sharing because it is a vulnerable moment.  The silence can feel like they are being judged or not understood (and therefore hurt) again.  You can help make the experience a healing and Loving one by giving conscious feedback.  It’s best not to tie it into an experience you had right away though.  Let the person sharing finish what they need to share and then move forward.  This is a wonderful healing, Loving, growing place to share, whenever needed.

Your comments and/or questions are welcome.  Feel free to add your thoughts in the comment box below.

Shine Brightly!!

Nancy

I would like to share a story that was shared with me recently. It speaks of the sacred journey of being born into our lives. From a human perspective, some of us realize this early on; some of us realize this later in life. No matter when it happens, the point is that it does happen. It’s never too late to love yourself, your life, and find your place in the world. The birth of self – knowing who you are, what you value, and what your purpose is – means that we have fulfilled the unique gift of life that we were blessed with.
It takes faith, hope and patience to get there but the difference is we are no longer trapped in a cocoon; rather, we are free to fly.

A woman found the cocoon of a butterfly and she set it on a table in her sunporch, to observe it. One day, she noticed that a small opening had appeared. She sat and watched the butterfly as it struggled to force it’s body through that little hole, but then it seemd to stop altogether. It appeared as if it had gotten as far as it had and it could go no further.

The woman decided to help the butterfly, so she took a pair of scissors and snipped off the remaining bit of the cocoon. The butterfly then emerged easily, but it had a swollen body and small, shrivelled wings. The woman continued to watch the butterfly because she expected that, at any moment, the wings would enlarge and expand in order to support it’s body, which would contract in time.

Neither happened. In fact, the butterfly spent the rest of its life crawling around with a swollen body and shriveled wings and was never able to fly.

What the woman, in her kindness and haste, did not understand was that the restricting cocoon and the struggle required for the butterfly to get through the tiny opening were God’s way of forcing fluid from the body of the butterfly into it’s wings so that it would be ready for flight, once free from the cocoon.

Sometimes struggles are exactly what we need in our life. If God allowed us to go through our life without any obstacles, it would cripple us. We would not be as strong as we could have been. And, we might never fly.