2013 – A Year Of Moving Past Limitations

BlueThe promise of a new year is juicy and exciting; a chance to examine what last year’s lessons were and move beyond the ones that we couldn’t quite leap over.  Life is like that every day though, if we could only remember as deeply as new year’s, that each new day is a fresh start.  And, I will go even deeper to say that every second, every moment, is only a thought away from taking a different road to a different (better!) destination.

I think it’s fair to say that most of us have beliefs that block a path  chocked with challenges and filled with opportunity to grow.  Boy, when you hit the wall blocking that path enough times, your determination takes a bruising!  You know what I mean?  After a while, it just gets annoying and the illusion of the limitation dissolves into the need to have the task done.  A good question to ask is:  How can I challenge myself with a fear so that I’m not enslaved by that fear anymore?  

One of my daughter’s friends is petrified of dogs.  When they were coming over to pick me up for an outing, I invited them in, specifically so the friend could come in to see the dog that lives with me.  I put the dog in her wire kennel and asked the young woman to come and see the dog.  She was brave and accepted.  Of course, she was a bit anxious, but knew she was safe with the dog behind a locked door.  It was a relatively neutral event.  Over time, I’ll have the dog closer and closer to her friend until she sees that not all dogs are scary or crazy!  How life changing will that be for her to not be afraid of dogs – they are everywhere!

We can use this analogy in our lives.  What can you slowly expose yourself to so that your fear diminishes in thin layers?!!!  I have my own list and will be moving through it.   : )

In the meantime, why not make a list of 3 fears that you’d like to neutralize this year and write down what it would mean to you if they were not there.  How would you be without that fear?  Who would you be without that fear!  Now, that creates a wonderful visual in your mind’s eye!  Taking tiny steps (or big ones!) will add up by the end of the year.  You can do it.  We all can do it!

Love & Blessings.

 

 

3 Ways To Neutralize Rejection So You Don’t Ever Have To Hesitate To Embrace What You Want In Life!

In the last post, I talked about our Divine nature as human beings – remembering that we are always more than the beliefs we carry around in the core of our hearts – many of which were false programming handed down, like a gooey virus, from one generation to the next.

One of the most difficult experiences we can go through as children or adults is being rejected.  I’ve certainly had my fair share of it, particularly in my quest for a mate.  It feels awful and most people go to great lengths to avoid it.  What if I told you there is a way to make some peace with rejection?  Would you like to know 3 ways to neutralize the sting of rejection and feel good about yourself again so you can lean into the kind of life you really want to live?

Most people have a good deal of experience with rejection throughout their lives.  Many experiences are rooted back into childhood, where we may have been left out by our tribe of friends or even chastised in such a way by our parents that we felt rejected and hurt.  The conscious sting of this subsides after a short period of time, but the subconscious imprint is still there and, each time we are rejected, it’s like we are experiencing all the rejections we’ve ever had – at once.  OUCH!!  That’s why it can feel so intense and something that will deter us from going for what we want in life.  That might be taking a step into an unknown realm in business, asking an amazing man or woman out on a date, or sharing a creative project with the world.

It’s hard to feel good about oneself when that kind of emotional wave is sliding through our heads, and hearts.  If it’s not addressed, fear of rejection can wither opportunities for growth, and opportunities to start a new life doing something we love, or being with someone we’re attracted to!  So, why not reclaim the right to approach each opportunity with a clean slate and a barely-discernible (or non-existent) level of fear?   Sounds good to me! 

Here are three thought processes to use when approaching something that takes courage, vulnerability and strength, but likely also leaves you open to rejection.  This is like building a muscle – but our dreams/desires are worth the effort!  

Here are your 3 R.N.’s – not registered nurses but Rejection Neutralizers, to buzz for help, when you feel like backing down from a challenge.

 

R.N. 1:  The Ring of Choice.  

Have you ever been out and met someone who you could tell was liking you up but you were getting an uneasy vibe from?  Maybe it’s just someone who totally didn’t fit your picture for a mate at all.  Maybe there’s just a hint of something in your intuitive field that tells you ‘no’ despite their pleasant demeanor or attractive appearance.  In that kind of situation, do you feel obliged to continue any further dialogue with him/her even though you are experiencing these feelings?  Of course not.  You are never obliged.  It is your right to say no for whatever reason.  The ring of choice here is that anyone else has the right to also feel that way toward you.  Some energies just don’t work well together and that’s okay – don’t take it personally!  Be curious, accept the risk and move forward.

 

R.N. 2:  The Ring of Spiritual Mystery

Coming from a spiritual perspective, I am going to refer back to the last blog post and our Divine natures and call in the R.N. of Spirit.  We do not have the answers to why certain events take place in life.  It seems that we are drawn to certain events in our lives to work through Soul lessons.  You may or may not believe in such things but it’s good to keep an open mind in life!  What if we are meant to work through certain events/situations with specific people and, if the person/experience we are drawn to is not in alignment with that, then ‘rejection’ of further interaction is what happens… all for our highest good?  Can we chalk this one up to mystery and just accept that Spirit moves in such ways – magnetizing or repelling us from certain situations – for which there is no logical explanation?  Sometimes, we are the repeller; sometimes, we are the repelled!

 

R.N. 3:  The Ring of Bold Assertion

This one is the nudger and, if you’re an entrepreneur, you’re already wearing this big, chunky one most of the time.  Designing and building a life requires bold decisions and the assertiveness to move forward in a fair and equitable way.  Now, how is it that we can be so bold in one area of life and not in another?  How can some of us build empires but not have the ability to ask an attractive woman/man out on a date, or vice-versa?  This is where we accept the nudge.  Wouldn’t it be great to mentally slide that ring on and approach the person with whatever kind of invitation you have in mind?  Making assumptions about their response is a fear-of-rejection reflex that we enslave ourselves with.  How about throwing off them shackles?!!  How do we know they won’t say yes?  Better to have asked than to always have wondered… what if?  If life is met with a “go for it” attitude in most areas of our lives, then why not make a commitment to open it to all of them?   The Bold ring is a juicy one – it starts with at least trying!

So, there you have the three Rejection Neutralizers to implement when hesitating over jumping in. 

 

Being the Divine essence that we all are, I will offer one more Bonus R.N.!!  This is The Ring of Light!  When standing in the full, bright power of the sun, the Light simply cannot be rejected – it’s too strong, too powerful and unfathomable as to how anything can damage it.  The core of us is that Light and we continue to shine no matter what cloud passes our way.  Having faith in that Divine nature makes these human interactions and experiences seem like dandelion fluff flying in the breeze!  We are more than we can ever imagine!  Be curious!  Be bold!

When the sting of past rejection surfaces, meet it with compassion.  It is so rare that someone in our lives really intends us harm.  Like many other people on the planet, our parents had filters that were not conscious and they did the best they could – our friends as well.  Forgive them by accepting the fact that we all have been rejected and we all have rejected others as well.  It is the human condition.

I hope you have found this component on rejection helpful and that, at some point, you can slip on a ring or two, or three, and move toward what you do want to have in life.  I’ll join you there, if you like, in the ring of contentment, fulfilment and joy!

Love and Blessings!

Nancy